Love and the Law of Attraction

Most single people can’t wait to stop being single! Newly out of a relationship or a long-time single and longing for “the one.” The prominent issue is that too many single people have not cleaned up their past. This means they are prone to creating exactly the kind of relationship they have already experienced.

Based upon the principles of the Law of Attraction, you will attract what you already are. This means the key to having what you want in a mate is to become the person you want to attract. Many single people don’t realize this and it is something the questionnaires and wish lists can’t help you with because they are about the other person, not you. Singles can be so eager to find their next love that they miss the opportunity to truly choose something new for their life.

Here is something to consider: Are you emotionally available? Have you made a conscious, dedicated effort to sorting through your past relationships to determine what worked and where things went wrong? Have you taken a strong stand in your own accountability for what you experienced or are you still playing the victim? If not, you are likely to pull into your life what you had before and wonder why you can’t find this amazing person of your dreams.

If you want to be in a relationship with a successful professional, you need to become that confident, positive, successful person yourself. Be aware… there is no faking it by putting together a good package, an ideal version of yourself for others to see. If you are outwardly successful and inwardly insecure, you are going to attract what is on the inside; someone who is insecure inside and pretending to be confident. So, when the two of you get together, you can expect a bumpy ride and a lot of drama!

Your best bet? For the moment, stay single on purpose. Consciously decide to work on yourself and clear up the wreckage of your past. Make up your mind to not give up on the ideal person for you and get busy living a fulfilled life as a single person instead of waiting until you find your soul mate before living your life. Chances are that when you are happy, fulfilled and have an interesting life of your own that you love, you are going to attract your ideal mate when you least expect it

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This is your moment, filled with such potential. Begin to build your ideal life now for yourself, with no pressure to fit into anyone else’s lifestyle or demands, and set yourself up to attract the soul mate of your dreams! Use the “magic” of the Law of Attraction to consciously draw towards you the right person at the right time. And in the meantime, instead of rushing to find the last love of your life, enjoy your life as it is now, no resistance. Live in the now, cherish your friends, family, co-workers and especially yourself. Very soon, you will be surprised when true love knocks on your door.

LaDonna S. Kumar
Licensed Relationship Counselor

http://www.themindfuldater.com/mindful-dating-program/

Are You Caught In A Mini-Marriage?

The mini-marriage results from acting committed and being exclusive before you are ready for a committed relationship, or doing so with someone whom you don’t consider a likely long-term partner choice. This is the one night stand that never left!

A mini-marriage puts you on a collision course towards unhappiness. Instead of leading to the long-term joy you are hoping for, mini-marriages actually interfere with your ability to build the life you really want. They are a distraction that impedes your personal growth until you are ready for the relationship you really want and attract the partner you really want.

If you don’t learn how to make different choices, you can invest months – or, sadly, years “working on” a relationship that cannot be fulfilling or even permanent. Because let’s face it; once you’re in a mini-marriage, it can be difficult and quite painful to get out.

When the not-so-committed party or parties ultimately find the courage to come clean, it causes heartache, angst and often anger for all the time wasted. Often affairs are a reason to leave a mini-marriage. Worse are those who stayed with Mr. or Ms. “Right Now” as a placeholder, knowing full well their dating partner is not “the one” while they secretly hoped their “soul mate” would appear.

Entering a mini-marriage is the equivalent of accepting a new job offer despite the red flags that came up during the interview; crossing your fingers and hoping it will magically work out. After all, you need a job and this is the one that showed up today. Let me ask you, have you ever known this approach to result in a happy situation?

We all know someone who’s gotten involved too soon or continually struggled in a relationship, right? Perhaps we’ve found ourselves in this situation and wondered how it happened.
So how do we get stuck in a “go-nowhere” relationship in the first place? What makes otherwise intelligent, responsible adults sleepwalk into these situations?

Mini-marriages are typically driven by unconsciousness needs and fears:

• Need for companionship
• Fear of being alone
• Belief it is impossible to have what you really want
• Lack of awareness about your readiness for commitment
• Don’t know how to get your social and relationship needs met effectively

To successfully avoid the “mini-marriage” style of dating and mating you must decide whether or not are you truly ready for a committed relationship. While it is reasonable to desire the benefits of a committed relationship (security, companionship, sex), it is important to be ready for a commitment in all areas of your life, and to be in a position of “choice” rather than “need” in order to have a successful life partnership.

If you are not ready for a committed relationship due to timing (e.g. recovering from divorce), health (physical/mental/emotional), finances, lifestyle, or other considerations, it is best to date a variety of people on a non-exclusive basis and have fun, learning more about yourself and relationships in the process. Become a “successful single” is the best way to prepare for the life and relationship you really want.

The Mindful Dater 10-week program is designed specifically to help you identify your own unique relationship criteria, empowering you to make the choices that lead to long-term relationship success and happy unions.

LaDonna S. Kumar
Licensed Relationship Counselor

For more information about my program visit http://www.themindfuldater.com/mindful-dating-program/

Should we live together first? Uh no!

Many people believe co-habitation is the next logical step in establishing a long-term commitment or marriage. Surprisingly, the latest statistics show that this is not the case. It turns out live-in relationships have an 80% failure rate versus a national average divorce rate of 50%.

There is a world of difference between the mindset of a committed relationship and what I call a pre-committed relationship or “mini-marriage.” In a “mini-marriage” you are trying to decide if this is the right relationship for you and you think agreeing to live together proves you are both committed to making things work. This is a common fallacy that is hurting couples who might otherwise have the potential to make it long-term.

Contrary to popular thinking, living together does not help a pre-committed relationship become a successful long-term love. In fact, the pressure of living together before both parties are fully committed can actually prevent a partnership from evolving into a long-term commitment. And if this person isn’t right for you, living together only makes it that much harder to make the decision to let go and move on.

When you are committed there are no back doors, no exits; you know you are in this for the long haul. You have thoughtfully considered the relationship over time and know this individual meets all your key relationship criteria hands down. There are no issues to “work out” or “work on”. You are prepared to face obstacles and overcome them together. You know that you and your partner are “on the same page” in all the ways that matter to both of you.

The best way to succeed in finding your ideal partner is to learn how to sort, screen and test prospective partners before committing to them. The Mindful Dating program is designed to do just that: teach you how to avoid the heartache of the popular “mini-marriage” model of dating and find love that lasts a lifetime.

LaDonna S. Kumar
Licensed Relationship Counselor

For more information about my 10 week Mindful Dater Program:
http://www.themindfuldater.com/mindful-dating-program/
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