Should we live together first? Uh no!

Many people believe co-habitation is the next logical step in establishing a long-term commitment or marriage. Surprisingly, the latest statistics show that this is not the case. It turns out live-in relationships have an 80% failure rate versus a national average divorce rate of 50%.

There is a world of difference between the mindset of a committed relationship and what I call a pre-committed relationship or “mini-marriage.” In a “mini-marriage” you are trying to decide if this is the right relationship for you and you think agreeing to live together proves you are both committed to making things work. This is a common fallacy that is hurting couples who might otherwise have the potential to make it long-term.

Contrary to popular thinking, living together does not help a pre-committed relationship become a successful long-term love. In fact, the pressure of living together before both parties are fully committed can actually prevent a partnership from evolving into a long-term commitment. And if this person isn’t right for you, living together only makes it that much harder to make the decision to let go and move on.

When you are committed there are no back doors, no exits; you know you are in this for the long haul. You have thoughtfully considered the relationship over time and know this individual meets all your key relationship criteria hands down. There are no issues to “work out” or “work on”. You are prepared to face obstacles and overcome them together. You know that you and your partner are “on the same page” in all the ways that matter to both of you.

The best way to succeed in finding your ideal partner is to learn how to sort, screen and test prospective partners before committing to them. The Mindful Dating program is designed to do just that: teach you how to avoid the heartache of the popular “mini-marriage” model of dating and find love that lasts a lifetime.

LaDonna S. Kumar
Licensed Relationship Counselor

For more information about my 10 week Mindful Dater Program:
http://www.themindfuldater.com/mindful-dating-program/
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