When your sweetie says she loves you, do
believe her? When he says he’ll never leave, do you secretly wonder? Now
that you’ve been together for a bit and have begun to settle in, does
it seem like your lover is losing interest?
Are you hanging on every word, analyzing every facial expression? Wondering where they’re really going? Are you falling into a routine relationship or are the two of you just becoming comfortable? Do they really want you or are they just avoiding having to start over? How do you know if this is true or if it’s you?
Okay. It’s time for a reality check. The hard truth is that no one can prove they love you. No matter how often they say it, no matter how glamorous the ring, how fancy the dinners or fabulous the vacations, no one can PROVE it to you. You could be doing the wild thing six times a day and still not know if they really love you – unless you love yourself.
If you love yourself, you will believe that other people can love you. It’s that simple. And you will be able to recognize when someone else doesn’t love and appreciate you. You won’t have to demand respect or consideration because you will be radiating it in your being.
Signs You’re Not In Love With You
Always pushing for security and reassurance
If you are always pushing for the next step like
moving in, marriage or buying a home, you’re probably looking for reassurance that you’re loved. Trying too hard to please your beloved and taking on all the responsibility for the happiness in the relationship are signs you don’t love yourself. Relationships should progress naturally to the next level without either party making demands. Happiness between couples should be “evenly yoked,” not reliant upon everything you – or your partner – do.
I Can’t Find Anyone Good
Are you always searching and never finding anyone who is “right”? High standards are good but lofty romantic ideals can sabotage your chances of actually finding a suitable mate. And, if you do become involved, you will likely become unhappy and quickly find something wrong with your current love or spouse.
I’m Too Busy for Love
Filling every second of your days and nights with work, vacation or hobbies is a sure way to avoid feelings that come from a lack of self-love. See how great I am? I’m busy with this project and my charity work and the gym and this weekend we’re going here and next weekend we’re going there. Learning to be alone and enjoy your own company is a great foundation for finding your right mate.
Always into the next “thing” that will “heal” you
Self-improvement is a noble and worthy endeavor. If you are never satisfied, however, it might be time to slow down and reflect on your life. Do you ever have “enough”? Do you buy a new car as soon as you pay off the old one? Are you constantly shopping for clothes and the latest gadgets? Are you always on a new fad diet? Are you constantly in some new phase that is going to make your life everything it is supposed to be? Ultimately, there should be days of feeling completely satisfied with whom you are and where your life is, with or without a mate. If you don’t have that now, you are unlikely to be happy with anyone else for long.
In conclusion, it’s important to realize that self-love is the foundation of your ideal relationship. When you love yourself, you can give love to others without keeping track of what they’re doing for you. And you will naturally recognize when someone truly does not appreciate you and isn’t right for you.
Allow me to be of assistance in helping you find the love for YOURSELF! For more information about my fun and dynamic singles program visit http://www.themindfuldater.com/mindful-dating-program/
LaDonna S. Kumar
Licensed relationship Counselor
Are you hanging on every word, analyzing every facial expression? Wondering where they’re really going? Are you falling into a routine relationship or are the two of you just becoming comfortable? Do they really want you or are they just avoiding having to start over? How do you know if this is true or if it’s you?
Okay. It’s time for a reality check. The hard truth is that no one can prove they love you. No matter how often they say it, no matter how glamorous the ring, how fancy the dinners or fabulous the vacations, no one can PROVE it to you. You could be doing the wild thing six times a day and still not know if they really love you – unless you love yourself.
If you love yourself, you will believe that other people can love you. It’s that simple. And you will be able to recognize when someone else doesn’t love and appreciate you. You won’t have to demand respect or consideration because you will be radiating it in your being.
Signs You’re Not In Love With YouAlways pushing for security and reassurance
If you are always pushing for the next step like
moving in, marriage or buying a home, you’re probably looking for reassurance that you’re loved. Trying too hard to please your beloved and taking on all the responsibility for the happiness in the relationship are signs you don’t love yourself. Relationships should progress naturally to the next level without either party making demands. Happiness between couples should be “evenly yoked,” not reliant upon everything you – or your partner – do.
I Can’t Find Anyone Good
Are you always searching and never finding anyone who is “right”? High standards are good but lofty romantic ideals can sabotage your chances of actually finding a suitable mate. And, if you do become involved, you will likely become unhappy and quickly find something wrong with your current love or spouse.
I’m Too Busy for Love
Filling every second of your days and nights with work, vacation or hobbies is a sure way to avoid feelings that come from a lack of self-love. See how great I am? I’m busy with this project and my charity work and the gym and this weekend we’re going here and next weekend we’re going there. Learning to be alone and enjoy your own company is a great foundation for finding your right mate.
Always into the next “thing” that will “heal” you
Self-improvement is a noble and worthy endeavor. If you are never satisfied, however, it might be time to slow down and reflect on your life. Do you ever have “enough”? Do you buy a new car as soon as you pay off the old one? Are you constantly shopping for clothes and the latest gadgets? Are you always on a new fad diet? Are you constantly in some new phase that is going to make your life everything it is supposed to be? Ultimately, there should be days of feeling completely satisfied with whom you are and where your life is, with or without a mate. If you don’t have that now, you are unlikely to be happy with anyone else for long.
In conclusion, it’s important to realize that self-love is the foundation of your ideal relationship. When you love yourself, you can give love to others without keeping track of what they’re doing for you. And you will naturally recognize when someone truly does not appreciate you and isn’t right for you.
Allow me to be of assistance in helping you find the love for YOURSELF! For more information about my fun and dynamic singles program visit http://www.themindfuldater.com/mindful-dating-program/
LaDonna S. Kumar
Licensed relationship Counselor
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